How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Randomly I came across this website (thanks to facebook) and was relatively bored so I decided to see what jeff and my babies would look like. Oh my gosh I am a weirdo and will probably be boyfriendless after he sees this..... However, if my kids really looked like this, maybe I don't want to have babies with him anyways. Haha!

Pretty Woman

"In case I forget to tell you later, I had a really good time tonight"

"We have so much time, and so little to do. Wait! Stop! Reverse that.”

Sometimes I feel exactly like this quote by Willy Wonka. Not so much in the aspect that I have so much to do and so little time to do it in (although once in a while I feel that way too), but moreso that my words are a tangled mess and get jumbled everytime I try to talk. I am full of uhhhh's and ummm's with a few huh's in there too.

For instance, I have an utter and complete phobia of making important phone calls in front of other people. It makes me nervous to call when other people are listening in. I don't even like to call the pizza deliverly guy with others in the room. Its official - im a nut! Advice?

Dove

I throughly enjoy the Dove Campaign for Beauty commercials/ads. These two are probably my favorite that I have seen so far. This is a serious issue and I think it is important. - Enjoy

I Miss You

Wanted

My Ode To Old Betsy

Although you've served your time
I'd rather you weren't mine
When I hit that snow
You took the blow
Now You have a dent
Which would costs a pretty cent
The glass is cracked
Because you got wacked
And with one mirror missing
It leaves me wishing
For a new van
But not a new man


Although my trusty old car has done a fabulous job thus far, it doesn't mean I don't desire something a little shinier and with a bit more spice. Something like this van!

Heroes

Today is day #1 of not shaving my pits in hopes to be able to do this someday. She's my hero!

Blue Man Group

Saturday night I went to see the Blue Man Group in Chicago. This video doesn't give it justice. These guys have some strange talents, but sure can pull them together to make a great show.

Mouth Tampon?

Biking 4 Babies

This is pretty cool! Some guys that I knew from school biked 636 miles last year during spring break to raise money for babies and plan on doing it again this year. Check out their website bikingforbabies.com

Happiness for just $19.95 a month

Believe it or not, you can now purchase up to 20 minutes a day of complete and utter bliss for a mere $19.95 a month. Even on the most dreary of days you can lay back, in the nude, and relax while soaking up the rays. Well, maybe not exactly rays of sunshine, but as close as a tanning bed can simulate.

Maybe I'm just being vein, but I sure do feel much better when I have a little color on my skin and don't walk around looking like an eskimo.

Complete and Utter Bliss!

Zac Brown Band

Insults

Mission: learn new vocabulary words in order to cause insult to others

Flapdoodle (FLAP-dood-el) — foolish talk; nonsense
Mythomania (mith-oh-MAY-nee-ah) — a compulsion to exaggerate or tell lies
Flibbertigibbet (FLIB-er-tee-jib-it) — a silly, scatterbrained, or garrulous person
Pilgarlic (pil-GAR-lik) — a bald-headed man
Quatopygia (kwah-tah-PIJ-ee-ah) — the shaking of the buttocks while walking
Cuckold (KUK-old) — a man married to an unfaithful wife.
Clatterfart (KLAT-er-fart) — a chatterer; babbler
Brobdingnagian (brob-ding-NAG-ee-an) immense; enormous

Mission Accomplished

O.T.T.A.W.A

dedicated to those of you who frequently visit ottawa, il

Stress Reduction vs. Concussion

I recently came across this poster hanging up in a school office. 2 months ago I wouldn't have looked twice at it. Now, I don't think its so humorous because I know kids who would actually do this. Ouch.

post numero uno

I don't know what came over me to begin a blog.
Boredom? - Perhaps. Taking somebodys advice? - Maybe. The need to "be heard"? - Doubtful.
Regardless of the reasoning I'll just get straight to the point for today which is adolescent boys making inappropriate comments.

To paint the pretty picture for you it was 8:30 on a Thursday night. I of course had nothing more important to do then go to Walmart in search of bagels. I had on too big of sweatpants, old lady shoes that I got from target for $3.25 on the clearance rack, a faded unofficial shirt from 2007, and my greasy hair pulled back in a pony tail. After tracking down the bagels I hear from further down the isle within a group of 5 adolescent boys "hey sexy, can I get your number?". I of course responded with a roll of the eyes and a response regarding the fact that they looked 12 years old. To this I got "OH MY GOD, are you PMSing. Ewe, you are". Sure I sounded grumpy, but I'm pretty certain about 30 seconds prior they were willing to take me home. How do things change and all the sudden I am PMSing? Obviously they felt rejected and now I was the butt of their jokes.

My shopping trip came to an abrupt halt, I waited in line for 10 minutes, paid for my bagels, and took my PMSing self home to bed.