over and out

Riddle of the Day: All Most girls have them once a month, they are unpredictable, can get messy, and when you have it, it's a relief.

Any guesses? . . . Get your head out of the gutter . . .

The Answer: A Girls Night Out.

Well last night I had quite the little excursion on my night out with the girls. Or in this case the singular form of girls. My night was definitely unpredictable, messy, a much needed relief, and started something like this.

It was about 5pm on a Friday night. We spent a tad bit too much time browsing the racks of Bergners for a foxy new outfit to make it for Happy Hour, but we surely worked up an appetite. So at about 6:30 we decided to head across town to a delicious chicken joint that has fabulous $1.99 margarita specials.

After finishing our margarita and chicken I felt something begin to grumble and gurgle inside me. It felt like a mixture between eating to many mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving and needing to unbutton my pants and the need to rush to the bathroom and let loose. I remained calm and quite about the uneasy feeling I was experiencing and we headed towards the car.

As we began to walk across the parking lot the feeling became more and more pronounced - impossible to avoid any longer. I quickly sat down with a clear look of discomfort on my face. Just then the gal I was with said something along the lines of "I think I'm going to puke". We decided to try and ignore the feeling and began to head home.

The drive home felt like the longest trip of my life (even further then driving to South Padre, TX). In fact, it was TOO long. I couldn't take it any more. Pull over the car I yelped as I hung tight to my stomach in hopes that I would be able to tame it.

Conveniently we pulled over the car right across the street from the local emergency room. I fiercely pushed open the door, bent over the edge of the car and began to vomit. The ground became covered with lime margarita and chunks of chicken and lettuce. The car became overwhelmingly full of the odor of my regurgitated dinner. Faster then a blink of the eye the drivers door too was flung open as my friend mimicked my actions and left a blanket of bright yellow vomit spread across the pavement.

For the next 5 minutes we both took turns having chunks of chicken george fly from our throats and occasionally slip out of our nostrils. Once our stomachs were emptier then a swimming pool in winter we continued on our journey home. Although we couldn't even make it the remaining 2 blocks without stopping to get bottles of water to rinse the foul taste from our mouths.

By the time we got home we felt better then a spring chicken at Easter and continued with our girls night out by dancing the night away at a local joint. Of course on the way to the bar we had to drive past the ER and take several photos of our "remains". Unfortunately it is on my phone and I'm not technologically savvy enough to upload that to my blog.

Sidenote: I generally go to that ER once a week for work. I'm hopeful that none of the staff saw me in thie state. And never again will I drive past or go inside that hospital without giggling about the image I have in my head about the two of us puking our guts out.

So yes, it was unpredictable, messy, and a huge relief.